I like this chronicle of Kendall’s search for the perfect home. Would you consider going abroad, at least for winter? Or how about upgrading in location (to perfect neighborhood in SD), while downgrading in home (to, say, a 1 bedroom apartment)? My wife, 2 young boys, and I are happy in a 630ft 1bed apartment in our ideal neighborhood in Vancouver, for example—happier than even being in a house .5miles away. Not driving, parks, beaches are huge, especially w little ones.
I can totally see walkability > size of home. I would love to hear more about how a family of 4 lives in a 1 bedroom apartment without going insane! Also how long do you plan to go abroad every winter? What is your plan for school for the littles?
I guess the trick is to never all be at home during the day, aside from breakfast and dinner. That's where having parks, beaches, family, and friends within 5 min walking is crucial—and not being around for winter when the weather's trash. I actually prefer having our small 1 bed in Vancouver to our much bigger 2+ bed places we get in Cape Town because it's so manageable (easy to keep tidy and not fill up with crap) and forces us outside. As for school, that's a problem for Future Chris to worry about, aka no freaking clue, but we definitely plan to default away from the default, i.e. force ourselves to find a solution that fits our preferred way of life rather than fit our life into what's "easy."
I am from outside of Nashville, and I went to school in Illinois. I moved to Nashville after two years of teaching because I wanted to live with my best friend and she was committed to going to pharmacy school in Nashville. I met my husband there, and when he decided to go back to school and change careers, my only stipulation was we needed to be near family (his or mine). He got into law school in Portland and we've been here since 2016.
With a kid, I really wish I lived closer to his family instead of closer to where I work. My commute is about 10 minutes, but it takes us 25-30 min to get to his family depending on traffic. They are of no help in terms of childcare on the day to day. My sister and brother-in-law moved out here in 2018, and I really hope when they get serious about house hunting that they choose to live near us, especially since they are planning on having kids!
Thank you for sharing where you've lived and how you ended up there!
Have you ever struggled with your decision to prioritize living near family? If you could live anywhere, where would you live (say you could take your extended family with you)?
It's interesting that living less than 30 minutes from your in-laws doesn't actually help with your day to day life. It shows how much of our time is spent within the 10-15 minute radius. For me, life is also just less spontaneous than I imagined. I live less than a 5 minute drive from one of my closest friends and I see her once every few months (even though I imagined seeing her weekly when we moved in). Reminds me of AHP's "You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You?" article https://annehelen.substack.com/p/youd-be-happier-living-closer-to)
Honestly, it feels like we spend more time with our neighbors than our own family, especially in the winter. I don't mind that because I do love my neighbors, but I also wish I had family within walking distance.
I'm commenting late though I appreciate this post because it illustrates how people's choice of where they live really is so different person to person! For me, my job and education has always dictated where I'd live, like doing a phd program and being rooted in place because of that, or now finding an academic job which are insanely competitive. I love stability though and would love to never move again if the job and area continue to be satisfying. It was nice to read this because it illustrates to me that people with a little more job flexibility than academia can move around a bit. And, I smiled at the "insanely expensive small town" line - thanks for the humor that brightened my day for a moment (:
I like this chronicle of Kendall’s search for the perfect home. Would you consider going abroad, at least for winter? Or how about upgrading in location (to perfect neighborhood in SD), while downgrading in home (to, say, a 1 bedroom apartment)? My wife, 2 young boys, and I are happy in a 630ft 1bed apartment in our ideal neighborhood in Vancouver, for example—happier than even being in a house .5miles away. Not driving, parks, beaches are huge, especially w little ones.
I can totally see walkability > size of home. I would love to hear more about how a family of 4 lives in a 1 bedroom apartment without going insane! Also how long do you plan to go abroad every winter? What is your plan for school for the littles?
I guess the trick is to never all be at home during the day, aside from breakfast and dinner. That's where having parks, beaches, family, and friends within 5 min walking is crucial—and not being around for winter when the weather's trash. I actually prefer having our small 1 bed in Vancouver to our much bigger 2+ bed places we get in Cape Town because it's so manageable (easy to keep tidy and not fill up with crap) and forces us outside. As for school, that's a problem for Future Chris to worry about, aka no freaking clue, but we definitely plan to default away from the default, i.e. force ourselves to find a solution that fits our preferred way of life rather than fit our life into what's "easy."
I really enjoyed reading this!
I am from outside of Nashville, and I went to school in Illinois. I moved to Nashville after two years of teaching because I wanted to live with my best friend and she was committed to going to pharmacy school in Nashville. I met my husband there, and when he decided to go back to school and change careers, my only stipulation was we needed to be near family (his or mine). He got into law school in Portland and we've been here since 2016.
With a kid, I really wish I lived closer to his family instead of closer to where I work. My commute is about 10 minutes, but it takes us 25-30 min to get to his family depending on traffic. They are of no help in terms of childcare on the day to day. My sister and brother-in-law moved out here in 2018, and I really hope when they get serious about house hunting that they choose to live near us, especially since they are planning on having kids!
Thank you for sharing where you've lived and how you ended up there!
Have you ever struggled with your decision to prioritize living near family? If you could live anywhere, where would you live (say you could take your extended family with you)?
It's interesting that living less than 30 minutes from your in-laws doesn't actually help with your day to day life. It shows how much of our time is spent within the 10-15 minute radius. For me, life is also just less spontaneous than I imagined. I live less than a 5 minute drive from one of my closest friends and I see her once every few months (even though I imagined seeing her weekly when we moved in). Reminds me of AHP's "You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You?" article https://annehelen.substack.com/p/youd-be-happier-living-closer-to)
Honestly, it feels like we spend more time with our neighbors than our own family, especially in the winter. I don't mind that because I do love my neighbors, but I also wish I had family within walking distance.
I'm commenting late though I appreciate this post because it illustrates how people's choice of where they live really is so different person to person! For me, my job and education has always dictated where I'd live, like doing a phd program and being rooted in place because of that, or now finding an academic job which are insanely competitive. I love stability though and would love to never move again if the job and area continue to be satisfying. It was nice to read this because it illustrates to me that people with a little more job flexibility than academia can move around a bit. And, I smiled at the "insanely expensive small town" line - thanks for the humor that brightened my day for a moment (: